One of the biggest helps for me in recent times has been someone asking me was I ok... no offers of advice just are you ok and is there anything practical I can do to help?
This man from our church called every 2 days or so while my darling was in hospital to check in and see how I was going. No advice, no digging for gossip just I know you are having a rough time and want to see that you are ok.
Just having someone to talk to and ring if I needed lifted a huge weight off me. I have been thinking about this and maybe some times I try too hard with my darling, maybe sometimes all she needs is for me to say I'm here if you need me and leave it at that.
