Crying again

[Carebear]

TW: criticism and threats of violence

Hi, I'm back again.

Content/trigger warning

My partner is an ex-navy who has PTSD etc.  The latest argument is that I keep stuffing up making dinner.  I made Stir Fry tonight. He said it was (and I'm quoting him), Shit, where is the Olives, where is the broccoli, why are the vegetables so small.

I am so stupid. I shouldn't have followed the recipe which says to thinly slice the veges.  

Sometimes I get the dinner 'good' and sometimes I get it 'shit'. 

I can't seem to get it right 100 percent of the time. It's not good enough.

He has said that if I don't get it right that he will throw the dinner against the wall and that I will have to leave.

[rav3n]

hey @Carebear i'm so sorry to hear about the comments your partner made. i can see that you're trying really hard and doing the best you can. his comments are NOT a reflection of your worth at all. 

humans are imperfect beings, we all mess up and we won't get it right 100% of the time - which is okay! you deserve to be spoken to with respect and kindness, not threats. i do want to check-in and see if you're feeling safe at the moment?

i encourage you to give 1800RESPECT a call/text too, you deserve to feel safe and heard. we're here for you 💜

(p.s. i've slightly edited your post to add a TW line so members know the themes hidden in the content warning 😊)

[Carebear]

@rav3n

I didn't feel safe the first time he behaved that way.  Now I've reached the point of that I just give up. Nothing I do is ever going to be right. He has worn me down emotionally. I'm tired. 

[NightPixie]

Hey @Carebear,

We want to echo what @rav3n shared, that the comments from your partner are not a reflection of your worth at all. You are not stupid and you ARE good enough. We all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and we imagine that you have been dealing with comments like this for a long time, which must be exhausting and defeating.

You share that you were scared the first time this happened, but that now you just give up and feel emotionally drained. It's understandable why you are feeling tired, as it sounds like no efforts you make are appreciated or acknowledge by your partner.

We see that @rav3n has shared the information for 1800RESPECT - how would you feel reaching out to them soon? It sounds like having some one-on-one support would be beneficial for you during this difficult time.

[Shaz51]

Hello @Carebear 🥰

[Carebear]

Hello @Shaz51

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Carebear how are things going today? 

[Carebear]

@Ru-bee
Um, today was ok. Don't know what tomorrow will bring.
He is going on a short holiday to Sydney from this Friday to Sunday which will be good as I'll be able to reset my nervous system.

[Ru-bee]

I'm glad that yesterday was a little better @Carebear though it must be exhausting not knowing what each day will bring. Have you been able to talk to any other supports about this before?

[Carebear]

@Ru-bee

It is exhausting.  I've just recently started sessions with a Counsellor at Mates 4 Mates here in QLD (town removed by moderator)