Lived Experience Forum

[Hopeful101]

Recently, I witnessed my sister with an intellectual disability become her true happy and animated self for the first time in 13 years. Additionally, she no longer gets overwhelmed to the point of tears.

The whole affair among otthers has taken a severe toll on my mental health and life. 

This has been such a delight and joy. After Facetiming with her last week, I realised I no longer have to worry about her happiness and contentment, but I knew my mental health would slump after such a long time of constant concern. 

This has been the case for the last four days, but now rebounding. It can trigger my lifelong suicide ideas, which can be dangerous for me. When I'm in a slump, I don't have any other family, partner, or friends to turn to for support.  

In addition to having a safety plan in place, I have a visual in the form of a bound notebook to help my mind become more grounded.

On my agenda is to visualise my safety plan and recovery path.

I find these kinds of forums helpful when tiding myself over until my next psychologist session.

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Hopeful101,

Thank you for sharing part of your story with us. It's really nice to read that you witnessed your sister doing so well after 13 years - that must of be lovely for you. It's also great to read that sense of being overwhelmed seems to have lessened for your sister. 

I just want to check in with you and you wellbeing too. I understand what you mean when you say it has taken a toll on your mental health. As a support carer for a family member with a serious mental health issue (diagnosed 20 years ago) I understand the emotional rollercoaster it can be for you (as well as your sister). It makes sense to me when you refer to your mental health slumping. I think as carers we are often in a regular state of hyper-vigilance - always ready to act if our person needs help or support. Whilst this is a great thing and I'm sure like me you would always be there for your loved one it also means that while we are being strong for them we can also start drowning. I think a lot of carers don't realise the importance of us also receiving care and support.

I would encourage you if you haven't already to look into getting support for you self around being a carer. Here is a link to some information support for carers. 

I'm really glad to read you have a safety plan and vision notebook in place to help ground you - that sounds like a really good way to help when things get difficult for you. I also just want to check on your safety as you mentioned that you have had lifelong suicide ideas. Do you mind if I ask if you are you safe right now?

Please keep reaching out and posting. You might also want to jump over the the Friends, Family and Carers side of the forums for more support from a carers perspective. Here is a link carers forum.

Wishing you and your sister all the best.

FloatingFeather 

[hanami]

Hi @Hopeful101 

I'm glad you have the forums to reach out to when you are feeling this way. The ups and downs of mental illness can be so difficult for us and those around us to understand. We think we are ok, then next minute we aren't!

It's great you have a safety plan and notebook you can write this down in. Do you have something nice that you do for yourself when you are feeling really down? 

Thinking of you 

Hanami

[Hopeful101]

Hi @hanami ,

Doing something nice for myself I keep forgetting to do. I must write that into my reminders.

Thanks for the suggestion.

[Hopeful101]

Hello @FloatingFeather ,

Thank you for your insights, recommendations and links. 

Yes, I am safe, plus seeing a support today. Thank you for your concern. 

Agreed most carers to not realise there is support out there or think to get support. 

I attend the NSW Carers conference the other week, and there was an agenda item, discussing the toll on carers caring for other people. It was a very good and insightful conference.

[FloatingFeather]

Hi @Hopeful101, 

Thank you for your response and for letting me know you are safe. I'm glad to read that you are getting some support for yourself.

The NSW Carers Conference sounds like it would have been very interesting - it's good to know that there was an agenda item around being a carer and the toll that it can take. Thanks for sharing this. Much appreciated 🙂

Warm regards,

FloatingFeather