Not sure how to react with Grandson,s possible relapse 😢

[Missyandme]

Our 29 y.o. Grandson has been staying with us for 2months approximately detoxing from Ice and has only one last session in a program he's been attending once a week. We were so happy with his progress & so was he. Unfortunately we believe he has relapsed , & his behaviour has gone downhill.  We're walking on eggshells everyday this week. He won't see a psychologist or psychiatrist and we really believe he has schizophrenia as well now. He was diagnosed Bipolar and ADHD but doesn't take any medication . We lost our beloved daughter ( his Mother) 9 years ago, & our Son his Uncle & Father Figure was killed 7 months ago in a motorcycle accident.  I am so worried about how this will end with our Grandson. I have some peer support which has been great and a psychologist, but I'm not sure atm how to approach the subject of relapse with him. We've left supportive pamphlets lying around for him to see about relapse is not a failure just a set back , & we're hoping he will try and get in-house rehab now 🤞 

[Krishna]

Gosh @Missyandme such a heartbreaking hand you’ve been dealt. My deepest condolences. It’s so sad that your grandson had come so far with his detox but has now relapsed. My daughter has schizophrenia and sadly is also using ice but is estranged from me so unsure as to how I can advise on how to handle this. Leaving information for him to stumble across is a good move and of course simply reassuring him that he is loved by you both, which is evident from your words and also supported. Sometimes that’s all we can do. I’m happy to read you have your own support network in place and I simply hope this is just a minor setback for your grandson and that he is soon back on track. 🙏

[Missyandme]

@Krishna Thank you for your response.  I'm so sorry to hear about your Daughter as well. It's just heartbreaking.  I've left notes with Love from Gma as well. I know there's nothing much more we can do as it's all up to him. It would not take much for him to leave and go back to his so called 'friends ' & blame us for his failure.  We are hoping he is detoxing again tonight as he's drinking heaps of water which is good but still isolated in his room. I sincerely hope you and your daughter one day get back in touch. 🫂

[tyme]

Hey @Missyandme ,

It sounds like you are doing everything you can to support your grandson. 

I hear how hard it is for everyone at the moment. Do you have a close relationship with him? Close enough for him to open up to you?

My brother-in-law was on illicit drugs for many years as a way to drown out sorrow. He is on lifelong medication for psychosis - an effect from taking drugs for many years. Whilst he is doing well, I remember the time he had relapses. It made him feel very low and guilty. As though he'd 'failed' everyone. 

I wonder if your grandson feels guilt? 

I'm thinking whether a conversation starter such as "How are you going? Is there anything you want to talk about?" will be helpful?

I can see you care. Please look after yourself also.

[Krishna]

@Missyandme 🙏❤️ 

[Missyandme]

• Thanks @tyme , It depends on his mood swings. He can be so funny/ nice/ caring, on the other hand in the same day he can change to being nasty and hurtful to us. We know he loves us deep down. We're feeling a bit better today as last night he seemed to be a lot better & actually talked to us calmly.  We asked if he'd relapsed and he said he hadn't although we did find some items that tell us otherwise. He is also talking about in-house rehab again which we hope he decides on. I've decided to hide the things we found and not bring it up unless we feel it necessary.  He may be too embarrassed or ashamed to admit. We don't want to trigger him. Sorry you are dealing with family and M.H. too. It's so difficult 🫂