Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Appleblossom]

OMG

I have just realised I have missed a day. I thought it was still Monday.... oooops

I still did a lot of caring things though ...lol

[Tim_YPA]

Already onto our second point - the time is flying! 

It took me forever to find an intersection between my role as a carer and my role as my mum’s son. I will be honest that I was a really needy child, so to have our relationship completely flip where I had to take up responsibility, and my mum was in need of care; it was really challenging. Coming to terms with this took time, and also a lot of self-love. I felt I made so many mistakes in both my role as a carer and son. But I had to accept that there was no rule book to follow, and I just had to the best I could. No matter what duel identities, you have you probably will feel some conflict – especially as per our previous discussion, if you’re not 100% sure what it means to be a carer.

[Tim_YPA]

I'm the same @Shaz51 I tend to use the term supporter unless it's in official situations (e.g. centrelink) where I know they won't understand. 

[nashy]

A lot of layers to navigate through @Shaz51  Well done to you and your strength in the journey. At times, when it all feels a bit chaotic, I do find grounding in the present moment to be helpful. I am always impressed too by your congruent love and care for those close to you in the family, I think love above all things is the great foundation to managing any illness be it mental or physical

[nashy]

Welcome 🙂  @Appleblossom  😄

[Faith-and-Hope]

It’s actually one of the kids who ended up having a mental health team @Tim_YPA , because hubby’s mental health issue is still so well disguised for people who can’t see into our lives .....  and his shields went up with our adult child’s team, but it did serve to alter the behaviour pattern that was fir cult affecting that child.  Their diagnosis helped them, and the rest of us, to understand better what is happening with my hubby (their dad), so we are caring for him in ways that he doesn’t understand he is being cared for ...... 

It’s so weird, yet probably not at all to other young carer’s who may have experienced something similar.

I am concerned that we are living with a secret that we shouldn’t be, because we ought to be able to be open about the mental health issue.  That is part of advocacy, for everyone involved.

And anxiety and depression have affected the kids, apart from the main diagnosis over the one of them.

[nashy]

@Tim_YPA  "so to have our relationship completely flip where I had to take up responsibility, and my mum was in need of care; it was really challenging."

Powerful. I am sure this resonates with many people on the forums. Thank you. 

[Shaz51]

That second question @nashy , @Tim_YPA 

sometimes I find it hard or not hard but to remember  balance between wife / , Daughter

Step mother ( as my step children have certain degrees of MI too )

[outlander]

 How do you manage your identity and role as a carer, with your other identities/roles (e.g. child, friend, parent)?


Unfortunatly my life has similar roles in all aspects. While i have the title 'carer' for my granddad, i also take care of my siblings alot more then what most other people would be doing at my age so really my roles and responsibilities are much thr same in all aspects of my life.
I am just 'Outlander' and thatll have to do i suppose.

[Tim_YPA]

@Faith-and-Hope that sounds challenging - though I can kind of understand. My family were really secretive about my mum's mental health issues when I was young, and they didn't want to 'make a fuss.' So that was kind of 'baked into' my mind when I had to step up as a carer. I guess we just have to do our best with what we've got at that point in time.