Lived Experience Forum

[Eden1919]

Hi i am not sure if i am experiencing a mixed episode or not i have had one before but it was a while ago and this feels a little different so i am not sure. if you have had them before what did mixed episodes feel like for you? 

[Acanthiza]

Hey @Eden1919  I used to get mixed episodes (only realised they were a thing last year, my psychologist before that said you can't be depressed and manic at the same time which made me completely rule out bipolar 🙃)

I might not be the most helpful since I also got ultra rapid cycling and it is all a bit muddy.

But! Basically to me it felt like more and more agitation and a lot of energy while at the same time feeling terrible with all kinds of negative thoughts, typically a lot of anger as well. Definitely the worst time of my life I don't wish it on anyone.

I hope you coped / are coping alright. What kind of feelings did you get?

[Eden1919]

@Acanthiza  thanks for your reply. well the first time i had a mixed episode it was much like you described fast and agitated and lots of negative thoughts which is why i am not sure that what i am experiencing is the same thing at the moment i just feel incredibly unsettled and cant focus and feel like i cant settle down but i also am having negative thoughts and feeling sad and not great. but it doesnt feel as fast as the other time when i have had mixed episodes so yeah i am not sure what is going on really.  

[Acanthiza]

Hey @Eden1919  I only got diagnosed at the end of last year so it is all new to me. I don't know what makes something officially a mixed episode but what you are feeling sounds bad enough even if it isn't like what you had before.

Are there things that help when it is like this? I have sort of "safety measures" which usually work to at least make things a bit more bearable. Well I am sure you would've tried them all already. Really hoping things settle down for you.

[Eden1919]

@Acanthiza  yeah i have tried all my usual coping things but they arent really working so it is hard. anyway it hasnt settled yet but hopefully soon.