Lived Experience Forum

[GalaxyOwl]

TW: disordered eating, eating disorders/ED, body image issues/body dysmorphia

I've had on off issues with my eating because of poor body image. It's never usually so bad I can't stop thinking about it or get to sleep. 

I'm supposed to be working in 6 hours and I can't sleep.I decided to weigh myself a few hours ago because I haven't been eating a lot the last few days, because I've been broke and running out of food, and usually when that happens I lose weight. Which, I did.

Usually when this happens it positively enforces the restricted eating and i end up just .... seeing how far I can run with it. 

This can also lead to being overly concerned with the quality of my food and eating unprocessed food a lot more and being really uncomfy eating meat and other behaviours that concern my housemates and make them think I'm heading into a hypomanic episode. (I have bipolar)

I don't think I'm hypomanic at the moment, if anything I've been feeling pretty low. 

I don't have any coping mechanisms for these feelings, aside from reminding myself that weight doesn't equal health and that my brain is tricking me about my body and its needs. 

I'm not really sure where to go from here.

[marchhare]

Hi there GalaxyOwl,

We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

We hope that you find the forums a great place to connect with other members, share stories and ideas, and find the support and connection you deserve.

Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already!

We look forward to seeing you around on the forums! Also I am sure you will get some support from members regarding this first posting

The SANE Forums Team

e: team@saneforums.org

[defaultusername]

Hello @GalaxyOwl,

Welcome to the forum and thank you very much for sharing.

I'm sorry that you're going through what sounds like a very difficult time for you, especially with such limited sleep and having to work today. How are you feeling today?

I thought I'd add this in case you're interested in SANE's upcoming Topic Tuesday// Living with Bipolar // Tuesday 26th March 2024 5:30-7PM AEDT

Here is the link: https://saneforums.org/t5/Special-Events/Topic-Tuesday-Living-with-Bipolar-Tuesday-26th-March-2024-5...

And have you heard of the Butterfly Foundation (https://butterfly.org.au/)? They are a free and confidential support service for people experiencing body image issues and eating disorders. 

They are available from 8am - midnight (AEST/AEDT), 7 days a week and you can contact them on:

Ph: 1800 33 4673

Online chat: https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/chat-online/

Email: support@butterfly.org.au

Wishing you all the best and am looking forward to hearing from you.

Know that you're not alone,

defaultusername

[GalaxyOwl]

Hi, Thanks for those links. I might check with my uni timetable to see if I can make that group. Today was worse.

I experienced descrimination and microagression at work, and had to leave early because of the distress it caused.

I called beyond blue, and then qlife later that day to have some peer support. 

I went over to a friend's place in the dinner for pizza and guitar jams. 

I came home and got into an argument with my housemate after she said something invalidating to my experience.

I'm doing DBT distress tolerance skills because I want to hurt myself. I'm safe, but I want to hurt myself. 

I'm holding a ice pack to my arm instead of poking it full of holes.

I've never had self-harm feelings this intense before. Maybe when I was a teenager with no emotional bandwidth.

when I can manage to pry myself off the kitchen floor I'm going to try playing video games to distract myself.

[defaultusername]

Not a problem at all @GalaxyOwl, I hope they can be of some use for you.

I am very sorry that yesterday was worse and that happened to you at work, workplaces should be safe places for us, but sadly not all are…

That’s wonderful you have connected with Beyond Blue and QLife, they’re great support services.

It sounds like you have some really good things to help when you are feeling distressed, such as seeing your friend, playing music or video games and reaching out to Beyond Blue, QLife or connecting with others here on the SANE forum.

And that is great to hear you’re doing some work on your distress tolerance skills through DBT, it sounds like it’s already helping you - how are you finding it?

I’m wondering, when you feel like you’re having thoughts of self-harm, how would it feel to reach out to one of the supports mentioned or play some music or video games?

Please don’t forget that Lifeline is available 24/7 through:

Phone: 13 11 14

Online chat: https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat

SMS: 0477 131 114

I and others here on the SANE forum are right here with you. I hope tomorrow is better for you,

defaultusername