Lived Experience Forum

[Patches59]

@Jojo-Dakota  This morning I phoned BlueKnot and spoke with one of their counsellors.

talked with her about what happened in second session including how it made me feel.  Also talked with her about 24hr loop of nightmares, tears and being imposter every time I leave my home.  

following chat with her I’m going to type up list of things I want to say to psychiatrist and will give him at start of next session. Things including how I felt during last session and flow through impact, asking what his plans are for each session and plans to support me when triggered.  I realised when talking with BlueKnot counsellor psychiatrist has provided me no info including his plans to help and support me.  

2nd session started with him reading through of trauma events during the last 50 years followed by him asking me how I had been since seeing him approx 6 weeks prior.  Soon as I mentioned I recently had couple nights of nightmares relating to my dad the psychiatrist went straight to asking me questions. Not once during the 90 minute session did he ask if I was coping ok or if anything discussed had triggered me.  End of the session he comments to me was I explain things clearly and he will see me again at next session.  During both sessions he is constantly asking me questions including prodding and prodding my memories but not once has explained anything to me.  He has done nothing to try to build a rapport with me or to help me feel I can trust and open up to him.  

due to my involvement with refugees and that lots of them are not comfortable talking with someone of their own gender, as I mentioned to BlueKnot counsellor, I’m wondering if seeing a female psychiatrist may be more beneficial for me.  My psychologist is female and have felt comfortable talking with her about anything including my SI from second session.

[Rollon]

Hi,

Have suffered depression, anxiety, loneliness, sadness my entire life.  I am now 65  I miss my psychiatrist  that I had been seeing for just a little while, she helped with everything imaginable with treatments etc but she has retired.  I thought I was going to get somewhere, she tried me on so many drugs but all failed.  I tried TMS very expensive and I did not respond to it.  Then medicinal THC oil, again just drowsiness not a cure, then it was going to be mushrooms or Esketamine.  I have seen Phycologists and they were never able to help, they sent me on a course of CBT but nothing changed me.  The second last psychiatrist gave up on me and put me in the too hard basket and just said I am an unhappy person and I was devastated.  I had quite a breakdown involving my son, just recently, who we have done everything for him as he is an addict since 14 and now is in his late 40's.  I got into my GP the next day and was an emotional wreck, he gave me a couple of quick acting drugs to settle me down and suggested going to talk to an Analologist as it was going to be a long time to get into see or find a new Psychiatrist.  Well never again, the cost was unbelievable for me to sit in a room while he goes through the story of my life analysing me.  I lasted six visits and for me to pay hundreds of dollars to sit in some posh room, knowing he has a business in the city as well and fancy home down the coast.  Just could not justify paying him hundreds of dollar for absolutely nothing.  When I get out of the misery rut I am in I have to find and prefer a female Psychiatrist as I have seen three males over the years and they were terrible.