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Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hello @Emelia8 

Thank you for sharing your story. I have the utmost of respect for you. A carers role is difficult as are marriages so I think you are truly an angel. I live in hope that one day my boy will find a partner to love and care for him.

 

My weekend has been nice. I caught up a with a girlfriend this morning and we made some jewellery and had lunch. I'm in NSW as well so yes feel sad for the Victorians. I too am being extremely careful as my father is having cancer treatment and so vulnerable.  Covid has certainly made for trying times ☹ 

A quiet night on the couch and easy dinner is on my agenda. What about you? It's wet and miserable here, have you been blessed with rain?

 

 

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Thank you  @Anastasia  xx

We had a spinach and  feta  pie for dinner @Emelia8 

Yes it is wet here too xx 

And I have to be careful  with my elderly  mum 

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Thank you @Anastasia 🙏💖

 

I am yet to find your thread and learn more about your personal situation.  Sorry about that 💕  Although of course I can hope that your boy will find a partner who will love and be loved, and care for your son as you would want.

 

Really happy to hear that your weekend has been nice so far.  Still another day to go! 😊 so lets hope that continues to be the case for you.  You made some jewellery?  Can you say more on that, as I am interested to know what type?

 

My husband was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer (melanoma spread to both lungs) almost 3 years ago now.  And on the very same week, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer.  A double whammy within 2 days.  It was tough.  My husband has undergone Immunotherapy cancer treatment which really knocked him around badly, and took out his endocrine system as well.  But his cancer is now under control, and he has lived longer than they originally thought he would.  But his quality of life is poor because of the auto-immune diseases he developed as a result of the Immunotherapy treatment.  He also nearly died due to encephalitis (brain swelling) caused by the imflammatory response from the Immunotherapy treatment.  So his extended life has been at a huge cost.  Sadly, my Mum's cancer spread to her lungs also (already compromised due to a lung disease) and she died just on 12 months ago.  Do you live near your Dad?  My parents live nearly 7 hours drive from where I live, so it was a difficult time when Mum was so sick, as it coincided with my husband being in hospital for a month and not expected to live.  Is your father responding well to the treatment he is having?  I do hope so.

 

A quiet night on the lounge here for me tonight too I think.  I will likely be watching some footy on tele, as my husband likes to watch the footy.  And I do too.  Not long finished a roast chicken dinner and about to settle on the couch now.  We had rain last night and off and on until lunch time.  Then we had some lovely sunshine and a bit of warmth.  But I think we are likely to get more rain tomorrow and Monday.  Happy to get the rain though, as its something I really like.  Especially after the drought conditions we had late last year, which resulted in the terrible bush fires we had around here last November.  We were surrounded by fires at the time, but luckily avoided the worst.

 

Emelia 🌸

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hello @Emelia8 

I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I am doing so on my phone rather than my computer so I hope I don't miss out on responding to everything.

My goodness you certainly have a lot on your plate. I am so sorry to learn of your dear Mum your heart must be broken. Cancer is such an unforgiving disease. It's cruel and I loathe what it does. And your hubby, heartbreaking, sorry that he's suffering still. I am glad they got on top of the cancer but at such a huge cost.

I think my Dad's is working, hard to know. He's has two weeks on and one off. It starts again next week for two on one off. Goes for a total of 9 and then scans. It's his liver and thyroid. He is in good spirits but gone into planning mode getting all his affairs in order. He's lost a lot of weight, I hug him and he's all bones. He's my rock, Mums too. I never want to imaging a life without either of them. Yes, they are only a few suburbs away thanks goodness, very lucky. 

I feel like it's all about me and I don't like that but I'll give you a quick run down on my beautiful boy. He's 19, 20 next month. Depression kicked in around 17 and after attempting to take his life and episodes of phycosis he was diagnosed with bi polar 11, ADHD and traits of did. After 5 hospital admissions the last time the dr said it it schizoeffective disorder. He's on a waiting list to go back. Possibly next week. We have mostly bad days. I see a glimmer of hope and then it's gone. I wish for a day I get my boy back. Heartbreaking to say the least. I cry most days. Anyway that's me. I came here initially as I was not in a good place. Twice now I feel like I've been rescued in here. So many beautiful souls all battling our own demons and caring for our loved ones. 

We had a baked dinner tonight too, how was yours? I cheated and bought the chicken and pork cooked at Cole's. All I had to do was the veges and gravy. So almost like take away. 🙂

Oh , the jewellery. My friend wanted some company So we made some little wine rings to distinguish between your glass with trinkets and beads. We also made key chains and some pendants which she will fill with resin eventually. Some good old fashioned girlie time. Good for the soul.

 

Thank goodness you were safe from the fires, such a shocking time. I am glad that the rain is reaching you if you have been in drought, that is good news! It has been an eventful year to say the least. We have rain tonight too, I do love the sound whilst I doze off.

What footy team do you follow. I've always been a Tigers supporter. However I don't follow anymore as I have moved from state to state and lost interest over the years but always stuck with he Tigers.

Sleep well Emelia and thank you for your message 🌹

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Good morning to you @Anastasia .  Actually I finally got around to chasing up a couple of your threads, so I know a little more of your reasons for coming here now.  Please do not ever feel obliged to respond immediately (or at all if you dont wish to) to any posts of mine.  I know how time can be at such a premium when you have so much happening all around you.  I tend to use my phone more now too, which is a relatively new thing for me.  In fact I only got a smart phone a bit over a year ago, having always stuck with the old clunker fliptop until it finally died a natural death and I was thus forced to upgrade a little.  I now have a very basic smart phone, which is just fine by me.  Although its small and if I have a lot to write, I always wait until I can access my PC.  I am a touch typist, so find tiny little phone keys very frustrating.  So I get all that.

 

Yes, it was awful how mum died.  She hung on for a long time, ignoring major symptoms until it was all too late to do anything about it. As a family, we were all dealing with another major tragedy in the death of my brothers only daughter in a car accident.  She was only 11 at the time, and Mums only granddaughter.  So we were all dealing with her loss, and also the serious injuries of her Dad at the same time.  When Mum finally sought treatment, the breast cancer had spread and she never wanted any aggressive treatment anyway.  A mastectomy only delayed the inevitable, especially when she had other serious health issues which exacerbated her condition.  And basically she was heartbroken anyway, so I think she wanted to go by then.  It was terribly sad though, because she refused any help at home, despite clearly not coping for many months before she died.  

 

Yes hubby had really aggressive cancer treatment initially, which did work against the melanoma.  But immunotherapy was relatively new treatment and still in experimental stages when he commenced.  They warn people these days of some of the serious side effects that can occur, especially for younger patients.  Often living with irreversible auto-immune issues for a long period of time, can be really debilitating.  And of course hubby had to develop one of the rarest side effects discovered so far ... we almost lost him when the cancer treatment caused inflamation in his brain (immune mediated encephalitis).  He spent a month in hospital, with nobody knowing what was going on. All the while unable to communicate, walk, eat or anything else for that matter. He did not know me, and was like a totally different person.  They told me several times to 'make arrangements'.  But once they knew what was going on, appropriate treatment helped quite quickly.  But he has sustained some permanent brain damage as a result.

 

It sounds as though your Dad is going pretty well so far, being in good spirits and remaining positive can make a huge difference.  Its sad though isnt it, when you give them a hug and they feel so frail and thin .. fragile.  He can still be your rock though, as well as your Mums.  I'm glad your parents live nearby and you are able to spend as much time with them as needed and wanted.  My Dad still lives at home, but misses my Mum very much.  He is not coping very well lately, after experiencing a couple of mini strokes.  His mobility is very poor with some joint and arthritis issues on top of other things.  Mentally he is good though.  He used to be a heavy drinker, but has not been drinking much at all more recently. Thankfully, because it would likely mean falls if he did.

 

You are dealing with so much around your son arent you? His diagnosis is a little scary, so its little wonder you sometimes feel overwhelmed by it all.  Such a huge resonsibility for you.  Of course we always wish the very best for our loved ones, and its super hard if we see them suffering so much.  Do I understand you correctly that your son is hoping to go back as a hospital admission, maybe next week?  I hope thats the case ... the more we can find out, the better off we are.  Information and awareness is so valuable.  Oh dear .. try to keep a hold of those glimmers of hope you have.  With the correct diagnoses and care, your son can lead a normal and happy life.  So maintain hope for that ... please.

 

I'm happy that you have found the forums so helpful since you arrived here.  They have rescued me too, for which I am very grateful.  So true ... there are many beautiful members here, each dealing with their own issues, but still reaching out to help so many others.  Its really lovely to see, and I consider myself very fortunate to be here too.

 

I had a baked chicken dinner on Saturday night, which was nice.  Yeah I cheated too and got a Coles BBQ chicken.  Occasionally I buy a roast pork from there too.  They seem to do them better than what I can cook myself.  And so much easier.    Last night I did rump steak and veges.  Tonight I will likely use the left over chicken meat and make up a nice chicken, vege and pasta soup. Good way to use up left over chicken and whatever veges I have available in the fridge.

 

The jewellery making sounds like a nice thing to do.  Love those little glass id trinkets.  Yes I also love the sound of rain.  Though it did not rain overnight last night, but it has started here now.  Will likely rain off and on all day today now.

 

Footy ... I follow the Canberra Raiders in the NRL and the Sydney Swans in the AFL.  I do like the Tigers however, and I have seen them live once when they played the Swans.  I have only ever lived in NSW or ACT.

 

Catch you again another day.  Hope today is one of your better ones.  💕😊

 

Emelia 🌸

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hello @Emelia8 

 

Thank you x

 

Big hugs for all that you have been through,way more than any one person should bear!

 

Today has been busy with work as Friday was taken up with a day away from my desk so catching up and drowning. Better to be busy and employed than not though so I am grateful. I am only just now having toast and cuppa soup for lunch. Easy and fill the tummy until dinner time. My boy has his support worker online catch up now so that should lift his spirits somewhat 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

It is freezing here, what about where you are. I have a nanna rug over my legs!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hello @Anastasia , @Emelia8 , @Maggie , @Maggie , @eth , @Smc , @Former-Member , @Determined , @outlander , , @Owlunar , @Appleblossom 

After today my mum has deteriorated,  soo sad 

Had afternoon  tea with her and she was confused  

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

@Shaz51  It is so sad seeing our parents deteriorate.  Hugs to you.  💔😔

 

Emelia 🌸

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Sad for you @Shaz51  xx

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Thank you  @eth , @Emelia8  xxx

I am just feeling soooookoo awwwww tonight

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