Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

Right now it feels like im on the verge of a mental breakdown. the only space that feels safe is here. the only place i can talk and support others because that is what helps me. but right now i cant think straight. 

[greenpea]

@outlander  what is wrong hunny? it is my turn now to help you.xxx

[Jynx]

Hey @outlander, sounds like you're at your limit, overwhelmed, on the edge... if it feels like something's gotta give, is there something you could do to release a little bit of the pressure? If thoughts are clouding your mind, is there a way you can get back into your body? 

Here with you 

[outlander]

thanks @Jynx  @greenpea  @Anastasia  i have been at my limits for home stuff for a while but it doesnt seem to matter how many times i try and change it, it just goes back the same way. ive just started another job as well to pay for more medical expenses. ive just had to fork out over 2grand in the last 3 months for my new medical condition and its not even over yet, i still have so much i have to do for everything else.
i tried finding someone to take over for pops care but did anyone put their hand up-no! they wont even have him for more then 2 days because hes to much for them. but yet they wont let me put him into a nursing home or some sort of disability place. its really hard on me. i feel like im always having to work around others rather then them working with me. i dont really have much control over my life. i am struggling to gain that control.
mentally my emotions are in their extremes, been in this state for weeks and cant seem to bring myself back. i try my best not to let myself get into this place because it usually takes months to regain control.
ive had to go back and see about medications for longer term and prn medications plus more psych counselling again but not sure how long itll last as i dont generally like the counselling side of things.
my anxiety is so extreme im worrying over things i dont even know what im worried about! makes it hard to know more what is a real concern at this point

[Anastasia]

Oh sweetheart, that is a lot. It is not at all surprising that you feel this way. I am so sorry. I really hear you. You have the lion's share of taking care of Pop and your own health is really suffering. I wish I had the answers. I'm here to listen hun. I hope you receive the support you deserve. You are always giving now it's your turn @outlander 💞

[BPDSurvivor]

Hugs @outlander ,

I hear the strain you are under. We are here for you.

And I'm do glad you feel this is a safe space to share.

Take care my dear,

BPDSurvivor

[outlander]

thank you. i just dont know what else im suppose to do.
im at my wits end. people keep telling me to just walk away. but im not that person either

@BPDSurvivor @Anastasia @Jynx @greenpea 

[Jynx]

@outlander  that sounds super overwhelming! It certainly sounds like there's a lot of things outside your control and that can be very challenging. Would it help you get some clarity to write out a list of the things that are clouding your mind? Then you can decide which things need your attention, which things you can control, and which things you can put on the shelf for another day? 

Or perhaps tonight is more about some self-soothing, distractions, or practicing some mindfulness or something?

I'm signing off for tonight but feel free to tag in the next moderator if you like. You aren't alone, you deserve care and support and we have so, so much of it for you 

[Historylover]

Sending my best wishes @outlander. Things just get tangled up sometimes and we need time out to start to unpick a few of our problems, one at a time. Just do your best and be kind to yourself. Sending best wishes. Go slowly. 

[outlander]

Thank you @Historylover much appreciated