Morning Check-In

[avant-garde]

@tyme 

Immediate thought "@Dreamy's here so here is ok"

Realistically I'm ok with either thread right now

Yeah we debriefed after, I still felt validated, seen and heard, though fragile

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde always here for you my sweet ❤️. 

I'm glad you still felt validated, seen and heard but I definitely understand the fragile feeling.

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy @tyme 

I've never actually been able to walk back in after walking out, not at church anyway, not until it's over.

I did that though. 

I'm proud of myself for doing that.

[Dreamy]

Oh well done my sweet @avant-garde, I'm so proud of you also ❤️

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy @tyme 

One thing they say every group is that "you are the expert of your own life and experiences"

I am the expert in my trauma and no one has the right to give me advice. Being asked for advice is a privilege not a right.

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde that's so very true and i love that they say that.

I hear you and I completely agree with you sweet. 

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy 

There's something I actually want to talk to @Jynx about tomorrow...

They've mentioned before that I would make a good peer support worker... the facilitators in this group I attend keep saying the same thing... I like of wish they'd back off saying it already... but I know there are things blocking my acceptance of this possibility... I think Jynx could help me with this, simply because they were the first to suggest it 

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde oh it's funny you mention this. I've been told the same thing by many services when I've reached out and also counsellors I've spoken to. There's also many things for me that prevent me from being able to do it, anxiety being a big one. I reckon having a chat to jynx about it is a great idea ☺️. 

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy 

I mean I have so many qualifications along with 2 degrees, but still unemployable, how would this be any different? I feel like that for *me* to be a peer support worker I would need to be further along in my recovery journey, to better emotionally regulate, to better tolerate distress, to do better, be better...

Kind of glad I'm not the only one being told it though?

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde oh I really hear you here and it's what I've said when they've mentioned it and questioned me 'why don't I become a peer support worker'. How can I be there to support others when I can't even seem to support myself? I can't handle everyday stress at times and get overwhelmed far too easily, so how would I be able to help someone else in that situation. The other big issue I have is separating myself from the situation, in that I care far too much and just want to make everyone feel better. 

For me it's something I'd absolutely love to be able to do but I'm just not sure if it's possible.