Lived Experience Forum

[DogMan79]

I'll stray from the questions, if I may

I also have other comorbidities and the lines between these things blur

2000-2002 I did my undergraduate degree. Largely nailed it, I became a member of the Golden Key International Honour society

Increasingly during this time, I got into heated arguments and fights with peers, lecturers etc. Words like "You're delusional! Seek help!" would be screamed at me. Which just served to fuel my beliefs that the world was generally against me, and strengthened my resolve in saving the world from evil forces

2003 I moved interstate to do my honours year, with a firm plan to continue to a PhD. i don't remember 2003, but that July, I presented to uni health services in a terrible state. They referred me to the CATT

The CATT psychiatrist said "I think you have either schizophrenia or a very schizophrenia-like psychosis" I only knew schizophrenia from movies etc and I didn't resonate with that image. I knew that the talking horse who I had been seeing wasn't real, but I didn't think that qualified. The doctors insisted things like "Some of your beliefs too" Which I didn't understand. I was a postgraduate student at a leading university, so how could my beliefs be skewy? And which ones?

I started antipsychotics. And the world and people around me became nicer, less threatening, less colluding. Two things which would take me years to accept were related to each other

Over the years, my Positive Symptoms (Things added to me, like hallucinations and delusions) improved. And my Negative Symptoms (Things taken away, like flat affect, avolition, poverty of speech) increased. They were there before, possibly dating back to high school. But they reached a point of things like severe occupational dysfunction and they make existing in a workplace exceedingly difficult

I have a remission and relapse cycle every few years

2022 I did a 12 month stint with the CMHT for other comorbidities. But one of the doctors explained that things like my increasingly failing memory result from brain damage caused by psychosis. As i age, my brain deteriorates. Which is part of why schizophrenia was first named Premature Dementia, it referred to the long term prognosis more than the early signs and Positive Symptoms

[PinkFlamingo]

Hey there @DogMan79 🙂

Thank you for sharing your experiences; I just read your post, and wanted to say how insightful it is 🌺

Im sorry to read that you’re experiencing memory changes due to your condition - that is something I do understand (I have brain changes due to immune problems and a former acquired brain injury). 
I wondered, with time and experience you have in living with your symptoms, if you have some tips for managing /recognising and mitigating symptoms that you’d like to share, if you feel comfortable?🙂

And only if you feel ok to share, I wondered how you feel about knowing your brain is changing? 🌺

I sometimes feel a little saddened that my brain is changing, however I try to balance that with the new things that come with having those changes, and looking for the positives in those changes 🙂🌺

[supermodel]

Ok what can I say to make the next persons life easier.. dealing with voices is something I tried to do.. if I had my time over again I would have sought help straight away.

[supermodel]

Ok the heading title is about my lived experience..