Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Attahua]

Tonight I rang the hospital to see how my partner was going as I thought I would visit him tonight and bring the dogs but the nurse tells me that the doctor has asked that I stay away at least until Sunday.....I am not to take it personally they say it's just that my unwell partner was very derogatory and insulting to his pyschiatrist and so they don't want any visitors as this may elevate him.....like I said... it's a first for me as no other pysch ward has ever suggested he not have visitors!!!!Has anyone had this experience before???? Also prior to this I had a discussion with his pyschiatrist and nurse about who they share information about my partner too as his well meaning but over controlling aunt who lives interstate was speaking to the staff and then telling me what was going on even though I am the primary carer and see him daily.....she would almost question what I was saying to her as if I had misheard what was happening.... for example... the staff said my partner could go home for a bit last weekend to see his dogs, I was going to be away but a trusted friend could take him however before that could happen my partner was rude and basically too unwell to leave which was totally understandable but his aunt sent me a text after I told her he might be able to go home for a bit and said she spoke to a nurse that said he was far too unwell to be going home...she ended the msg to me by saying...' so I don't know where you got that idea from!!' She made me feel like I had made it up but he was allowed a possible visit but then he worsened so they reneged that was all. Now she has sent me another msg asking if I told staff not to share information with anyone as today the staff told her my partner was doing well but if she wanted to know more she was to ring me. This is what the staff and I agreed would be the best course of action, that I pass information on to the family as I am the primary carer... but how on earth do I say this nicely to his aunt that this is what we have decided??? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!

[Appleblossom]

No I havent been told that, but it makes sense in the circumstances.  It sounds as if the staff are respecting your position as carer, so its probably best not to take it personally. It sounds like they are trying to contain his negativity.

Re aunt, she sounds like a prickly character.  Ignore all rudeness as her issue and just give her the basics, Unless if you want to broach some of her problematic attitude and can do it without causing a major flare up.

Good luck

[Attahua]

Thankyou,  yes his Aunt can be a bit over the top.....I have not as yet responded to her text (and she won't pick up the phone and ring me) as I haven't yet worked out how to word what I want to say in the nicest way possible which is yes I have spoken to staff and it has been agreed upon that as I am his primary carer only I need to be told info from doctors and anyone wanting to know anything can simply ring me and ask as I smile not trying to hold anything back

[NikNik]

Hi @Attahua

How did it go? It can be hard to convey tone of voice in texts and sometimes people can put their own spin on the texts they read. It's a tricky one!

It just makes sense to me that there's one central person who is the primary carer, that the hospital passes on information to, rather than 100 different people contacting the hospital separately. It's just as much a logistical reason, as it is a privacy one.

I hope it went well!

[Attahua]

I did respond to her msg and her reply was along the lines of how she was experienced in dealing with my partner and his MI etc.... I dint want yo remind her of how many years ago that was now but it was tempting.... I simply put how I appreciate her input but it made sense to have one contact person to avoid any misunderstandings etc..... I did not receive a reply but I did update her today after my partner was seen by a pyschiatrist and actually asked for her advice and help and she was very responsive so I think we may have reached a happy medium for the moment where she realises I CAN do this in between work but will also update her every time and ask her advice when needed!!!!! Phew!!!!!! You are so right though as it only makes sense to have one primary contact person